Dear parents with teenagers,

In simplest terms, this is how the cycle goes:

1) The parents are worried for their car and their kid and visible show their concern.

2) Their fear is obvious to the teenager so they feel the need to be great at driving in order to calm and impress their parents.

3) This puts pressure on them on top of the excitement to drive and their own fear and concern.

4)The parents see that the teenager is nervous and tries to tell them how to drive, while they're driving.

5) The teenager wants to be good at driving but gets annoyed and doesn't want to listen to their parents, all the while trying to follow their advice (for example, if a parents says "okay... go now." the teenager will startle and step on the gas..... yes I know that from experience.)

6) The parent gets scared and panics.

7) The teenager gets scared and messes up.

8a) The parent believes it's the teenager and that s/he is "not ready to drive" and the teenager knows it was just a transfer of fear and panic but doesn't say anything because the parent believes they know better.

8b) OR the teenager WILL say something and accuse the parent of scaring them out of annoyance, fear and/or anger and the parent simply refuses to listen and it ends up being an argument or swept under the rug and never talked about again.

Teenagers shouldn't be allowed to drive with their parents, only an instructor or other adult that they are comfortable with.

OR

Parents, you need to recognize that your visible concern only puts more pressure on us and causes us to mess up more than we usually would. We appreciate advice, we follow it to the letter even if we don't realize it. But please, give it to us before or after we're in the car. (preferably before) We want the driving experience to be as smooth and comfortable as possible.

Sincerely,
The new driver.

PS. If you have experienced this firsthand (whether you're a parent or teenager) or maybe have had different experiences with new driving, leave a comment telling me telling me your driving story, I'd love to know if my description is just as accurate as I think it is!